I want to make a rpg damn it

I have so many people in my google+ circles that are creative. Men and women that writes stories, or create awesome games. People I respect the hell out of because this is something I still want to do in my life. People that can actually get past the distractions that life throws at them and still create amazing games I want to play, and stories I want to read.

What makes this even more impressive is that these people have full lives. Some of them have spouses and children. Some of them even have forms of ailment and it doesn’t stop them from doing what they love. I find this both inspiring and intimidating. Welcome to the inner workings of my mind. I have none of these distractions and yet I still struggle with creating something. I could give a litany of excuses here, but the bottom line is that if it was as important to me as I say it is, I would overcome those things and just do it.  

I have wanted to make a game ever since I started gaming over 20 years ago. But around 2005, my friends and I were going to a ren faire, and it got rained out. On the way back an idea came up about a screen play that involved people getting killed inside of the tabletop role playing game they were playing. Nothing ever really came of that idea, but the idea that we could make the game itself started and never really let go of me. It did not hurt that this was when I was starting to get burned out of Dungeons and Dragons, and just wanted something different. I was also just about to discover this wacky game called Spirit of the Century that would change how I looked at games in general.

So we started making the game and after a while it dawned on me that we were just making a D&D clone. It felt exactly like it. To be fair we had been playing 2nd ed for a while and I guess this was an example of transference. So, the game kind of got scrapped and we started over.

I had spent a few years trying to come up with unique mechanics for the game and every time I felt like I had something, I found out someone had already used that particular mechanic. This drove me crazy as there are so many people out there making games that coming up with something they have no already done can be something that crush you.

Then I started playing Fate more, and man do I love that system. So I decided I wanted to make a Fate game. At this time there was not really that many Fate games out there, and it felt right. I had a few close friends that were helping me and it was awesome.

But like most things in my life, I struggle with consistency and focus. I always felt like making the game was more important to me than it was for them. That isn’t a shot at them as much as making a game has always been a dream of mine and although they wanted too as well, they had other things going on in their lives. So, the longer it went, the less we worked on it. The last time I worked on this with help was when I first moved to Pittsburgh in December of 2011. That fell apart too as making something just isn’t easy…as anyone that has ever made anything will agree.

So, here I sit in 2014. Feeling like for the first time in a LONG time that I am ready to get back at it. I don’t know what I want to do though. Do I still want to make a Fate game with all of them that are out there now? Or do I ditch that idea and try to come up something new? Do I think I can do this by myself, even though I have never shown the discipline required to do so? Is making a novel based on my world too much? Am I over thinking this?  

I don’t know the answer to these questions. But I am just thankful to be asking them again as I am trying to find the will and determination to actually see this through. Find a way to have motivation but sustainable thing instead of something last for four months or so.

I want to do this, and I guess the bottom line is it is up to me.

Dungeon World is what I wanted D&D to be

Wow, do I love Dungeon World. The game is just so damn fun, and it reminds me of what i wish Dungeons and Dragons could have been.

Now, a lot of people know how I feel about dungeons and dragons. It was the first game that I ever played and it was may gateway into a hobby that I have loved for almost 25 years. Yet, like most things, time passed and my love the game started to wain. I cannot really blame the game itself as I just got burned out of it and was introduced to new and different games...like Spirit of the Century.

So, D&D is kind of like your first relationship, you are glad it happened but you moved on to better things as you got older. I also did not like the newer versions of the game, and that is fine. The rules and the fact that is just a game where you go around and kill things, just got boring to me. I know it can be more than that, but the rules themselves are more about combat than anything else. If that is what you like, then that is fine.  There are plenty of people out there that love D&D to this day and that is what it is about. Find the games YOU love and play the hell out of them. Lord knows so many people are playing 5th Ed now, and I hope they are having fun.

Not long ago, a few people made Dungeon World. I was excited immediately as they were taking the engine from Apocalypse world (which I love) and using it to make it into a fantasy setting. I signed up for the KS and even got a cool t-shirt. But back to the game. It was never the setting that I did not like about D&D. I love the fantasy setting. Good versus evil. I live for that shit. I always have since I read the Lord of the Rings when I was 8.

I was loving this game from the beginning. It took everything i loved about D&D and just made it easier to play. Not to mention, it does such a great job of letting you be as awesome as you want to be, but also punishing you severely when you fail. That in itself is something that I love. Yes, being amazing is great, but sometimes it is just as fun when things go really bad.

I mean REALLY bad. Like your mage failing his magic missle roll and killing party members bad. That just happened recently in a game.

But mostly it is just the feel of the game. It is easy to set up. Easy to play. I have yet to run it yet, but it looks easy to run. I love how you make a map with the people and the map is always growing and a part of the game. I love how the ownership of what happens is on the players. Yes, you can plan and all of that, but you never really know what a player is going to do and this kind of game just rewards that.

There are supplements for the game as well and to be honest, the guys that made the game are amazing. They have even answered questions about the game via G+. I cannot even say in enough words how awesome that is.

So, in the end it is a great game. One I really want to play much more of. The simplicity of the system and focus on roleplaying is something that I love quite a bit. Yes, D&D was my first game, and I will always have love for it, but the indie games out there are just something I WANT to play.

Why mages are the worst a dungeons and dragons story

So, as I sat here today, I started to play Dragon Age for like the billionth time. I decided this time that I wanted to play as a mage. This is relative, cuz anyone that knows me knows that I NEVER play a mage in anything. Not video games. Not tabletop rpg’s. Nothing.

There is a reason why.

It all goes back to the very first time I played a tabletop role playing game. Way back in 1990. Ya see I worked at a grocery store and some people introduced me to this rpg called Dungeons and Dragons 2^nd Edition.

You may have heard of it.

Now, I knew almost nothing about the game. I had read a bit of fantasy as a kid, but never played any kind of games where I grew up. So, when I started reading the book, I was mesmerized and excited to play.

So, we got together and I decided I would make a mage. Cuz you know, Gandalf. But if you have never played older version of D&D, you may not know it takes FOREVER to make a character. Especially when you have someone that has not played any role playing game at all. I don’t remember how long it took to make my elvish mage Kalvin (yes, I still remember his name), but it was at least 3 hours.

So, here I was with my mage, ready to kick some ass. Galvin had 2 hp to start and what happens? The GM kills me in the very first fight by sending four kobolds after me. He was even smiling why he did it.

Now come to find out, he thought I was sleeping with his girlfriend, which I wasn’t.  He then decided he would kill my character, just to be spiteful. He even admitted all of this when it happened. So, three hours to make a character, less than five minutes to kill him. I walked out of there and the others had to talk me into even coming back and playing (they even switched gm’s). I wonder how different my life would be if I had just walked out? Never playing another rpg again. Instead I came back and we made my thief Gareth, and I have played thieves ever since. 

First of all. The don’t be a dick rule really comes into play here. I have run enough games to know that you tend to want people to play more than once, so killing them off is something I have always avoided. Beat them just to the point of death? Maybe, but not kill.

But even more important to this story, I have hated mages ever since. 2 freaking hp? And no armor? Whatever. Death by kobold should never happen. Since then, I don’t play them, and I usually just don’t care for them in general. No matter what rpg system/video game I have ever played, I usually play a thief and NEVER play a mage. It never is even an option.

Well, until the Dresden Files Rpg came out, but that is all due to Harry Dresden.