Why mages are the worst a dungeons and dragons story

So, as I sat here today, I started to play Dragon Age for like the billionth time. I decided this time that I wanted to play as a mage. This is relative, cuz anyone that knows me knows that I NEVER play a mage in anything. Not video games. Not tabletop rpg’s. Nothing.

There is a reason why.

It all goes back to the very first time I played a tabletop role playing game. Way back in 1990. Ya see I worked at a grocery store and some people introduced me to this rpg called Dungeons and Dragons 2^nd Edition.

You may have heard of it.

Now, I knew almost nothing about the game. I had read a bit of fantasy as a kid, but never played any kind of games where I grew up. So, when I started reading the book, I was mesmerized and excited to play.

So, we got together and I decided I would make a mage. Cuz you know, Gandalf. But if you have never played older version of D&D, you may not know it takes FOREVER to make a character. Especially when you have someone that has not played any role playing game at all. I don’t remember how long it took to make my elvish mage Kalvin (yes, I still remember his name), but it was at least 3 hours.

So, here I was with my mage, ready to kick some ass. Galvin had 2 hp to start and what happens? The GM kills me in the very first fight by sending four kobolds after me. He was even smiling why he did it.

Now come to find out, he thought I was sleeping with his girlfriend, which I wasn’t.  He then decided he would kill my character, just to be spiteful. He even admitted all of this when it happened. So, three hours to make a character, less than five minutes to kill him. I walked out of there and the others had to talk me into even coming back and playing (they even switched gm’s). I wonder how different my life would be if I had just walked out? Never playing another rpg again. Instead I came back and we made my thief Gareth, and I have played thieves ever since. 

First of all. The don’t be a dick rule really comes into play here. I have run enough games to know that you tend to want people to play more than once, so killing them off is something I have always avoided. Beat them just to the point of death? Maybe, but not kill.

But even more important to this story, I have hated mages ever since. 2 freaking hp? And no armor? Whatever. Death by kobold should never happen. Since then, I don’t play them, and I usually just don’t care for them in general. No matter what rpg system/video game I have ever played, I usually play a thief and NEVER play a mage. It never is even an option.

Well, until the Dresden Files Rpg came out, but that is all due to Harry Dresden.